Living in a Nightmare

When life decides to make fun of you, it will.  It will without mercy.

Just when you've decided to do something for yourself, your past haunts you.  It haunts you anywhere you go, like a lion with its prey.  Its eyes fixed on you, watching your every move, waiting for you to make a mistake.  And when you do, it strikes, hard.  Worse, it strikes when you least expect it.

It's hard enough trying to forget the life you've lost and fight the pain it's causing.  But it gets even harder when every time you close your eyes and drift into sleep, your past shows itself.  It reminds you of
the things you'll miss.  It reminds you of the things you've lost.  It reminds you of the one you love, and lost.  It would have been better if you never have woken up from your sleep.  There, you will live in a dream with the best part of you.  Do the things you've done together in the past.  Experience new things only possible in fairy tales.  You'll never feel pain again.  You won't need to cry yourself to sleep.  You'll never miss meals again.  No one will see you staring at nothing.  No one will take your happiness away.

Unfortunately, you'll need to wake up again.  Realize it was just a dream, a dream which might never come true.  A dream you may never have the next time you fall asleep.  Now, you're living in a nightmare.  Here, where everything means nothing, where happiness seems so alien, where living is focused in doing things just to get things done.

In this nightmare you might never get out.  No matter how hard you hit yourself, you'll never wake up.  You'll be left miserable without hope.  You'll hunger for happiness while others are enjoying theirs.  When reality turns into nightmare, you'll want to be locked  up in deep sleep and live in a dream forever.