Missing You

Wide awake, music turned on loud, still in the office, it's past 3am.  I'm trying to make sense of all that happened these past few weeks.  I still can't believe it's over.  I'm still wishing it isn't.

I started this week with a small spark of hope that I can make it.  Make it alone in this unforgiving life.  As fast as the spark appears, it disappears.  It seems like nothing has changed.  Not a little improvement with my situation.  I'm still empty, still hoping, still hopeless.  Nothing compares to what we had, to what I lost.  I miss every bit of it, every bit of you.  Your smile, your voice, your touch; they're all i need right now.  They're what I'm gonna miss forever.

If only I knew this would happen, I should have tried to make you happier.  I should have made you smile and laugh more.  I wish I had taken more pictures of you with that beautiful smile.  I wish I talked to you more and heard your sweet voice more often.  I should have listened more to your stories, your complaints, your requests, and everything you said.  I should have hugged you everytime I had the chance.  I should have felt your warmth when I had the chance.  Right now, I only feel cold.  Cold because of the thought that I'll never be with you, that you'll never come back.

I'm missing you so much and I can't do anything to stop the feeling.  It's just making me realize how much I've lost.  I've lost the one that mattered to me most.  And I still don't know if I could stop hoping you'll be back.  I love you, still.